Flying Cowboys
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: What do you do when you are trapped in your own mind? Jasper is broken after Bella's birthday and Alice is at her wits end trying to help. Finally she goes to the one person her visions say can help. But is she willing to give him up to save him? JB
1. Preface

Preface:

_Stabs of pain shot through my body as his teeth sunk deeply into my shoulder. Over and over again he tried to fight as I began to tear him apart. He had known what was coming when he had seen me approaching, he was one of the few smart ones. One of the few who actually paid attention to what happened after their newborn strength had diminished._

_He had been ready for me, waiting and hoping that he could kill me first. They never learn. This is my job for a reason. Unlike most of these vampires, I was born for war. I had been born first for it as a human, and my rebirth had been for this one reason alone. I was good at what I do, I was the best._

_His teeth once again found purchase on my right shoulder. I could feel his venom seep into the wound he had torn in my flesh. I reached my arms in a wide arc above me, knowing that he was too worried about chewing through my neck to notice my actions._

_Ignoring the pain from his various bites, I brought my hands down and cupped his face. Before he could realize what I had done I squeezed my hands tighter and wrenched his head clean off his body. With the sound of a falling boulder, the headless creature slumped to the ground. _

_I nodded over to Peter and watched as he started the fire. I made quick work of the rest of the body. Soon nothing but putrid purple smoke remained._

_Looking down at my right shoulder I could see my flesh already beginning to heal, but knowing that it would leave several scars. Just more to add to my collection. I wondered, before this life was over, how many more would I earn? And would they all leave me feeling this dead?_

_

* * *

_

(Author's notes: Ahh, yes the Twilight bug has rather caught me. And well I'm a bit in love with Jasper, don't ask! Anyway, this is a Bella/Jasper, but it will focus a lot on Jasper mostly at the beginning. It will be mostly from Jasper's POV, though I will do both Bella and Alice as well as these three characters are going to be the main players in this tale.

I love Bella/Jasper stories, but I have noticed most of them focus on putting Bella back together. I wanted to try something a bit different, while Bella is still pretty broken up after Edward leaving her she is going to be nowhere as bad as she was in the book. This is AU after Edward leaves her in New Moon.

Funny thing is, I was not planning on writing a J/B until I finished my Jacob/Bella story, but as I was washing dishes I had been listening to Rickie Lee Jones' song, Flying Cowboys, and this sort of just popped into my head. And I thought it would make a good title for a story…."Also, came up with an Aro/Bella story later that day….ok I like most of the Twilight guys, soooo, yeah"

I am still undecided on whether or not to have the wolves, I love them to pieces but I'm not sure they will work in this one or not. Also there will be no Edward bashing, though he will be a bit more self-centered. Only because it works best for this story.

This will be rated M, not because of lemons, as I do not write them, but for language and violence.

**Disclaimer:** yeah, do not own it! Sadly.)


	2. Lying in the Dust, Who do I Turn To?

Chapter One: Lying in the Dust, Who do I Turn To?;

_Alice:_

It has been a month since we all left Bella back in Forks. We haven't seen or heard from Edward since he phoned to inform us that he had broken up with her and it may be some time before we see him again. I can't see his future that clearly, I don't think he really knows what he wants anymore.

I had promised that I wouldn't look for Bella anymore, but she was my sister and I couldn't in good conscience leave her completely alone. The thing that bothered me though was what I saw whenever I looked.

Bella is still turned. Though I am unsure how. Edward is nowhere to be found. I see most all of our family. Sometimes I see Bella and Emmett joking around, and Rose trying her hardest not to laugh at their antics and keep up her bitch persona. Carlisle and Esme just talking to her, or watching some of Bella's favorite movies. I'm there, just not as much as I thought I would be. And Jasper, Jasper is there the most. But where is Edward?

I make an unnecessary sigh as I enter the front room. Jasper hasn't been the same since Bella's birthday. He never was that much of a talker, at least to everyone but me. Now, though he hardly says two words together in a week.

He sits in that chair by the window and just gazes out. I wish I could read minds like Edward, because I know something is wrong, but he won't tell me. I just want to fix it. I want to see that little smile on his lips again, the one he reserved just for me. I need to feel his cold breath as it brushes past my cheek when he holds me. I need to fix this, but I don't know how.

Carlisle believes he is just feeling guilty and depressed for slipping, that he will eventually snap out of it and return to me. The visions of him laughing alongside Bella give me hope that he will, but they also make me uneasy. There is something just not quite right about this future.

I am jolted out of my thoughts as Emmett throws down his game controller and plops back heavily against the floor.

"I'm bored and thirsty. Anyone want to go hunt?" It hasn't really been that long since I had gone, but at the moment it was batter than sitting here and watching the look of nothingness on my husband's face. Everyone nodded, I guess I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

"Come on Jazz!" I cringed as Emmett slapped the back of Jasper's head. He had been trying since we got here to get a proper response out of him, he wanted his brother back. Jasper just stood and nodded before taking off alone to hunt.

I tried to quash the hurt that welled up inside me, he would return to me soon. I had to have hope that he would or I would be lost.

* * *

I paced in front of the door, I was sure that soon I would wear a hole right through it. Everyone had returned over three hours ago, and yet Jasper hadn't returned. I wasn't sure what happened to him, I couldn't see him and it scared me. He never stayed this long away from me without at least calling me.

"Maybe we should go look for him." My voice sounded strangely weak. This past month has worn on me and if I were not a vampire I knew my hair would have been coming in gray.

Knowing that something had to be wrong for Jasper to be gone this long everyone readily agreed and we all took off. I just hoped that when we found him everything would be ok.

* * *

_Emmett:_

I knew everyone had taken the move from Bella hard. Well everyone but Rose, she was just resentful for having to move before we had planned. I never really understood her hatred for Bella, the little human girl was hard not to love.

Out of everyone it had been expected that Edward would take it the hardest, but I don't think anyone had realized what damage it would do to Jasper. I know he never really knew her like some of us, but he had confessed to me once that he wished he could control his bloodlust enough to be able to be her friend. He had said there was something fascinating about her.

Now he did nothing but sit in his chair and stare out the window all day. At the moment I really wished he was there. We had been searching the woods for him for over an hour and I finally found him. I was glad that Alice was not with me.

I stood leaning against a tree looking at my brother. Over a dozen different animals were spread out around him, their necks broken and throats slit. Their blood pooled on the ground, and in the middle of it all was Jasper. He was curled up in on himself just lying there in the blood. His eyes were open and staring out at nothing. But what scared the shit out of me was the look on his face. I never thought Jasper feared anything, but he looked so scared. If I could have cried I believed I would have. What happened to my brother?

I fell to my knees, my eyes still fixed on his face. I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my phone. I was going to need help.

The phone hadn't even finished ringing before Carlisle answered.

"Emmett? Have you found anything?" He sounded so hopeful, how could I tell him how I found one of his sons?

"Um, yeah. Listen Carlisle I am going to need your help." Before I could say anymore Alice's voice rang through the other end. She must have snatched the phone from him.

"Em! Where is he? I can't see him? Please, is he ok?" I grabbed at where my dead heart rested, this could break her. I couldn't let her know.

"He is going to be fine, Alice. Just give the phone back and the rest of you should go back home."

"Going to be fine? Em, w-what happened?" Her voice was so small, I knew she really wanted to cry.

"Nothing, just give the phone back…"

"No Em…" She didn't get any farther before Carlisle must have taken his phone back.

"Alice! Just go back home, if Em asked you to then he has a good reason. Please." His voice was pleading as he spoke. With a huff I heard her take off, most likely to get both Rose and Esme before returning to the house.

"Where are you Em?" He sounded worried, not that I blamed him.

"About ten miles north of the house. Look Carlisle, I'm not sure what happened, but this is not pretty." That really was an understatement. I kept hoping Jasper would jump up and start laughing at me for being so gullible, because I really didn't want to believe that this wasn't a joke. It looked like a scene out of a horror flick, and I am not talking about the ones where you can tell the gore is fake either. If I could sleep I knew I would be having nightmares.

I steeled myself for what was to come as I heard Carlisle break into the clearing.

"My God…." His voice was a whisper as he stood next to me. I didn't turn to look at him, I already knew the look on his face. It was the same as mine. We were quiet for a minute as he took in the scene. With an unnecessary deep breath he took a step forward.

"How…ok, Emmett first I think we should clear away these animals. If we try to approach him with them still near he might try to attack. Be careful when you grab one, do not take your eyes off him." I nodded, not that I needed telling in the first place. I had seen Jasper when he was in what Alice called, Major mode. He was one scary son of a bitch, and I didn't ever want to cross him when he was mad.

It didn't take long for the both of us to clear the area. All the while Jasper remained still. Now I knew came the tricky part, the part where we could loose a limb if we weren't careful.

Slowly Carlisle walked toward Jasper, his arms up in a sign of surrender. He spoke softly, reassuring him that we meant him no harm. Jasper growled at first, curling into himself even more. I worried that he would lash out, but as soon as Carlisle laid his hand on his shoulder he relaxed.

We couldn't get him to stand or walk, in the end I ended up having to fling him over my back as we run back home. I wasn't sure what we were going to say or do once we got there. Why hadn't Alice seen this? What could have happened?

I really wasn't sure I wanted to find out.

* * *

_Chapter two preview:_

_One left. She tries to run. Too late, her screams echo in my ear._

_Silence. I look around me. The ground is littered with pieces of vampires. The rush from the battle is gone now. I sink to the ground knowing that Maria can't see me. I can't remember much of my human life, but I knew I must have had a mother._

_What would she think of me now? _

{Author's Note: Ok I know really short chapter, but I thought that was the best place to stop this. The next will hopefully be longer as it will have more of Jasper's POV. Also a quick note here, I know in a lot of Jasper/Bella stories Alice turns out to be a manipulative little pixy bitch. This will NOT happen in this story. I love Alice too much to do that to her, but also she is not just going to be all La De Da, Here ya go Bella have my husband. She will fight to save her marriage, and in the end….well you will see. Anyway, there really is no bad guy in this story. It is all about Jasper and his family and all of them trying to put everything back together after things went horribly wrong.

Ok, well the reason why Alice can't see what happened to Jasper will be in the next chapter, I might do a small bit with Bella, but I'm not yet that it the right time. It may actually be a few chapters before we see her.

Also, no I do not have a Beta for this, though I do look it over the best I can. But I am only human and I do miss things, and I know I do tend to use way too many commas. Though it is way better than it used to be. I am still improving.

This will not be updated regularly, as I have to update at the library or when my father allows me to use his computer. This story is not yet finished though I do have it planned out and know what I want to happen.

Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own anything belonging to the Twilight Saga. }


	3. He Bears The Look of An Animal

Chapter Two: He Bears The Look of An Animal;

* * *

Jasper's POV:

_I was surrounded. Ten Newborns, wild and hardly trained. They all fought on instinct. One by one they would rush headlong into me. It only took a second to rip them in half. Screams, there were so many screams. Orders being shouted from across the field as the worthless sires tried in vain to gain control of their army. Idiots. _

_Five left, too easy. Three move from behind me, thinking they could catch me off guard. Two remain. This rush I feel is unlike anything I could remember from my human __days__. There is so much anger around me, fear too. It only feeds me as I spin to face those left. They are down before they could shout for help._

_Maria smiles at me from across the field. I would be rewarded tonight, and I knew how to really please my sire._

_The two older vampires watched me as I stalked my way over. They are so confident. Why would they need to fear anything from one so young as me? Foolish._

_The tallest growls before leaping at me. Wrong move, Sugar. Her head rolls across the field before her body even landed._

_One left. She tries to run. Too late, her screams echo in my ear._

_Silence. I look around me. The ground is littered with pieces of vampires. The rush from the battle is gone now. I sink to the ground knowing Maria can't see me. I can't remember much of my human life, but I knew I must have had a mother._

_What would she think of me now?_

* * *

It is a frightening thing being trapped in your own mind. Forced to watch memories from a past life over and over again. I remembered later that night, Maria made sure to reward me greatly. She threw three scared teenage girls into a room for me. I hesitated for a moment. I had already started to become disillusioned by this life.

Maria gave me the smile she always did when she was just about annoyed at you, the one just before you were punished. I pushed back my reluctance and entered the room. The girls couldn't have been more than sixteen, maybe seventeen. They had cuddled up together in the corner holding on to each other and making pleas to be let go.

I knew Maria loved to watch and there wouldn't be anyway out of this or less brutal on them. I grabbed the one closest to me and ripped her already tattered dress from her body. I shudder now at what I had done to her body before I drained her. The second was even worse, the best in me already unleashed. I was just thankful that the third had fainted before I got to her. She had felt nothing as I ravished her body before drinking from her.

Maria had been rather ardent that night. She didn't even allow me to dispose of the bodies before she had jumped me. I still bear the scars from that night. When in the heat of passion like that Maria had a thing for biting. My inner thighs were riddled with her mark, her claim on me.

When I had met Alice I thought I could finally put all of behind me. I was wrong. She was wonderful, she wasn't even repulsed by my scars. She loved to kiss and taste each one till I was a quivering mass. She said it was her way of erasing _Her_ mark and replacing it her own claim.

She never shrank back from me, even when I asked to be allowed to mark her. I knew that Carlisle and Emmett had marked Esme and Rose. It was just in our nature. Edward, even with all his old fashioned beliefs and almost prudish behavior would have marked Bella after she was changed.

Ah Bella, Isabella Swan. I have never met a human like her before. She was at the same time selfish and selfless. A strange mixture of conflicting emotions and actions. I had meant what I had said when I told she was worth it.

Yet after all of that, after saving her and giving her hope I have taken it all away from her. Me, not Edward. I was the one that had snapped. Now here I am. I guess it is a rather appropriate punishment. Damned to relive the horrors I have committed over and over again.

We all knew that vampires could go crazy. At least of a sort. Maybe not like humans do, but we have our ways. I suppose that is what you would call me.

I have tried to escape, return to my life with the Cullens. I have failed every time. I am forced to watch as my goof of a brother tries everything to get me riled up. While my wife tearlessly sobs beside me as she attempts again and again to fix me.

I am laying now on the bed I share with Alice. I know that they are all around me, I can hear them but for some reason I can not comprehend what they are saying. My body is still coated in the blood and dirt from my hunt. I can't remember if I actually drank, which bothers me. Vampires have perfect memory, so why don't I know.

The whole time I just remember that battle. The fear and anger, the fire and smoke.

Alice sits beside me and gently strokes my face. It relaxes me, but only so much. I still can't escape from my mind and I know it is only a matter or time before those memories start again.

* * *

Alice's POV:

I felt sick, I haven't ever felt this way in all my years. I wasn't sure what to expect when Emmett and Carlisle returned. Though it was nowhere near what I found when I opened the front door. The fear in Jasper's eyes just about caused me to fall to my knees.

He wouldn't respond to any of us. At least before he would look at you or make a gesture or something. Anything besides this motionlessness. He refused to move, to talk, to even breathe or blink. He looked like a person shaped stone.

I smoothed my hand over his face. The look of absolute terror remained in his eyes. He wouldn't even look at me.

"Carlisle, what do you think happened? Alice said she hasn't seen him since he left to go hunting." I looked up to the man who was my father in everything but blood. His face was morphed into an expression of worry. If he had been human I knew little lines and grooves would have covered his pale skin.

"I'm not sure about what caused Jasper to act this way, but as far as I can tell is that he was running on instinct. Alice couldn't see because he never consciously made a decision." The room was quiet as everyone digested what this meant. As long as Jasper remained living on instinct I wouldn't be able to see him.

The silence was broke as Jasper made a small moaning sound and flipped onto his back. I motioned for everyone to leave us and waited till they were gone before I spoke.

"Jazz, you've got to get better. I can't do this without you. We've lost so much already, I've lost so much. Don't make me loose you too. I might just end it all if I didn't have you." I wasn't sure if he heard me, he just kept moaning and snarling. What was happening to my Jazzy?

* * *

Jasper's POV

_Her scent was sweet like vanilla and cream, and I knew from experience she tasted just as good. We twisted and bundled the sheet beneath us. Moans came unwillingly from my throat. This was the only the fourth time she had taken me. And that is what she was doing. She was taking me, claiming me._

_I snarled a bit as she moved. Before I was able to contemplate what was happening I felt her sharp teeth cut into the flesh of my inner thigh. She held herself a moment, her venom causing so much pain. This wasn't the first time I had been bit as a vampire, but it was the first time she had done it. I knew it would leave a rather rough scar._

_She removed her teeth and licked her lips as she looked up at me._

"_You belong to me, only me. No matter how many others who enjoy you, you will always be mine. You can never truly leave me now." She smirked before she sat herself in my lap. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew that at least I belonged somewhere now. _

_

* * *

_

If I had only known then that that was just the beginning. How many more days would be spent in her arms, being marked like cattle. I grew to hate her before I left. I wanted to rip her to pieces.

As I lay here, my wife pleading with me to return to her, I can't help but realize that Maria had been correct. I haven't been able to fully leave her. I may have been able to run from it for a time, but it never left.

* * *

(Author's Note: No preview today, haven't even started the next chapter.

I am not so sure how I like this one. I seem to be having a bit of trouble getting this story off the ground. I do know where I want to go with it, you will just have to bare with me as I get it to go there. Hopefully I won't take to long.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.)


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